Sweet Baby Ryan

Sweet Baby Ryan has always been his name. He was the quietest baby, so good and calm. Didn't make a peep unless it was for good reason. He stayed a baby for so long being that he didn't roll until 8 months (about 4 months late) or crawl until 13 months (about 7 months late) or walk until 18 months (about 6 months late). I feel like he's been a baby forever. With a limited vocabulary of about 6 non-distinguishable words, he's the complete opposite of Andrew at this age. I try not to compare them. Of course, like every other new mom of 2, I started out comparing them, but it became obvious pretty early on that they are not the same in any way.

So as Ryan grew and got bigger physically, it was easy to see that he was not growing developmentally. I was at home with him his first year, and I felt like I worked with him just as much as I did with Andrew. But it didn't take. I took him to the doctor on many occasions, just to check his muscle development. When he wasn't rolling, wasn't pulling up, wasn't sitting on his own. The whole time the ped told me he was fine, he was just a big boy and wasn't interested in those skills right now, not to worry... it will come. I called friends of mine who are OT's and PT's and they encouraged me to call Babies Can't Wait. I asked my pediatrician, he said he would recommend waiting. Around this time my marriage ended, my entire world changed. I went from a suburban stay at home mom and wife to a single working mom in less than 2 weeks. I was emotionally unable to process all these changes and so I pushed them to the side and thought that I would deal with them later. I focused on trying to stay strong and do what I could for my boys. Ryan and his development got pushed to the back of my to do list. If I would have listened to my friends, I would have gotten him help sooner, but I couldn't handle one more thing on top of everything else going on. Thus the beginning of "mom guilt".

Ryan is now 21 months. He is tall for his age and very very strong. He is very loving and his face lights up like a firecracker when he's happy. I started the Babies Can't Wait process about 2 months ago and he was just evaluated last week. Ryan qualifies for Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy for Fine Motor Skills. The therapists are claiming he probably has an Audio Sensory Disorder.. which his Ped finally agreed to. This is called Sensory Integration Disorder or something of that sort (the name of the disorder changed recently). Anyway, kids with SI cover many spectrums. They can be from one extreme to the other. Basically it's a problem with their central nervous system that causes their senses to be out of sync. Most people have heard of kids that won't walk on grass or won't taste different textures,etc because they are very sensitive to every feeling/taste/sound.... Ryan is the opposite. He needs more stimulation than average, needing to push, pull, bounce, stomp, grab, pinch, etc in order to feel. He craves resistance to his body, pressure on his skin, cramming his mouth with food in order to taste it, visually stimulating objects like light shows or bright cartoons, loud music and lots of movement.

So how do we deal with this, any why should we? Well first of all we should because this disorder would make it hard for him to learn fine motor skills. Fine motor skills require patience and gentleness. There isn't much gentle about Ryan. For him to learn to pet a dog without grabbing it, learn to hold a fork without stabbing something, learn to draw with a pencil without eating it... How do we help? I guess therapy, and patience, and lots of love. He's a brut, and will be one hell of a football player!